Working with clients, I’ve always sensed that something didn’t quite fit with the traditional approach to work-life balance. I’ve seen it firsthand with overly devoted family members and clients—no matter how carefully they divide their time, the math never seems to add up to a fulfilling life. Life is much more nuanced than just splitting time between work and personal responsibilities, right?
That’s when I stumbled upon a framework by John Coleman, featured in a Harvard Business Review Guide, and it immediately clicked.
Instead of focusing on dividing time between work and life, purpose-enjoyment balance asks us to look at how meaningful and joyful our activities are in our work as well as personal life.
The new work-life balance: purpose-enjoyment balance
If you’re like me, you love being in that flow zone—where everything feels aligned, and you’re energized by what you’re doing. But here’s the thing: purpose and joy aren’t the same. Purpose is about doing what matters most to you, whether that’s in your career, personal goals, or relationships. Joy, on the other hand, is about those moments that make you feel alive. While it’s amazing when purpose and joy come together, living a purposeful life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns; more often than not, it’s hard work.
"Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion."
Simon Sinek
I’ve had plenty of moments—like the challenges of parenting or pushing through a tough work project—that are high on purpose but low on joy. But knowing there’s meaning behind them keeps me going, and I often remind my clients of the same. However, if we feel drained for a long time, it is probably time for a change.
Purpose-Enjoyment quadrants: a helpful tool
To help you rethink balance, jot down the 10-20 daily or weekly activities you take on - from financial reports and meetings to birthday parties and yoga classes - and think about trying to place your activities into these four quadrants.
Drudgery (High Purpose, Low Joy)
Think of tasks that are important but not fun. I’ve been here plenty of times—working late on a meaningful project or dealing with the less glamorous side of parenting. These tasks serve a purpose but aren’t necessarily enjoyable in the moment. And that's okay.
Fulfillment (High Purpose, High Joy)
This is the sweet spot, where you’re doing something that’s both meaningful and enjoyable. For me, this might be a coaching session where I’m helping someone through a life transition—deeply aligned with my purpose and also incredibly fulfilling.
Misery (Low Purpose, Low Joy)
We all fall into this quadrant sometimes—activities that feel pointless and joyless. This might be mindlessly scrolling through social media or being stuck in tasks that don’t serve any bigger goal.
Fun (Low Purpose, High Joy)
These are the moments that are fun but don’t necessarily serve a larger purpose, like relaxing with a favorite show or indulging in a hobby. It’s important to have these moments, but spending too much time here without purpose can feel unfulfilling and superficial in the long run.
How coaching can help you find balance
How much time are you spending on meaningful tasks, even if they’re not always fun?
How much joy are you allowing yourself, even if it’s not always deeply purposeful?
Through career and life coaching, I’ve seen how this shift in perspective helps people make more intentional choices about where they spend their time and energy. Whether you’re stuck in drudgery or misery, coaching gives you the space to reflect on what really matters and how to spend more time in that sweet spot where purpose and joy overlap. It also helps you accept that some things just need to get done, even if they’re not fun—they’re still important. Plus, it highlights how much fun you're letting yourself have, which is key for recharging and letting go.
Letting go of the perfect balance
I’ve let go of the idea of perfect balance, and I encourage you to do the same. Life isn’t about flawlessly dividing your time—it’s about finding a blend of purpose and joy that works for you. Try looking at the balance over a longer period, like weeks or even months. Sometimes you’ll lean more toward purpose, and other times more toward joy, and that’s perfectly okay.
As long as you keep your eye on what gives your life meaning, you’ll stay on the right path.
Wishing you fulfillment and joy,
Nelli
Nelli Csarno | Career coach & Counseling psychologist
Guiding you to live with purpose, find joy, and create a life that feels fulfilling—on your terms.
Feel free to reach out for a free chat!
References:
John Coleman, HBR Guide to Crafting your purpose (Harvard Business Review Press, 2022), 19.-27.
Simon Sinek, Together is Better: A Little Book of Inspiration (Penguin Publishing Group, 2016).
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