A client once told me, "I didn’t hear back from my friend, so they must be upset with me." That’s classic mind reading, a cognitive distortion where we assume we know what others are thinking. We all fall into these thinking traps, but here’s the secret: we don’t have to believe every thought we have.
A core principle of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is learning to challenge thoughts and build healthier patterns. This powerful idea mirrors ancient Buddhist teachings, especially in mindfulness and meditation, where thoughts are viewed as temporary and not always reflective of reality.
Don’t let your thoughts blindfold you: choose what you consume
Imagine sitting at a table blindfolded, eating whatever is placed in front of you. You have no idea what’s on the plate - whether it’s something good for you or something that might not sit well - but you eat it anyway, simply because it’s been served. Now, think of your thoughts in the same way. Many of them have been "served" to us since childhood, and we’ve been accepting them without question. But just like you wouldn’t want to blindly eat everything put in front of you, you don’t have to accept every thought as true either.
Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it's true
Let that sink in for a moment.
If you're like me and my clients, this realization can be life-changing. I know, those thoughts feel real, and we’re used to trusting our inner voice. But here’s the thing: our inner voice doesn’t always give the best advice, and it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s human nature to think in bigger, often distorted categories. While that might help us sometimes, more often than not, it doesn't.
Common cognitive distortions (CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)
So, without further ado, here are some of the most common cognitive distortions or thinking traps identified in CBT—and how you can reframe them to gain more clarity.
Mind reading
Assuming you know what others are thinking without any evidence to support it.
Trap: "I didn’t hear back from my friend; they must be upset with me."
Clarity: "There could be many reasons they haven’t responded yet, and it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re upset with me."
All-or-nothing thinking
Viewing situations in extremes, as either complete success or total failure, with no middle ground.
Trap: "If I don’t get this job, I’m a failure."
Clarity: "Missing out on one job doesn’t define me. I’ll have other chances."
Catastrophizing
Expecting the worst possible outcome in any situation, blowing things out of proportion.
Trap: "If I fail this project, my career is over."
Clarity: "Even if it doesn’t go perfectly, I can still learn and improve."
Emotional reasoning
Believing that just because you feel something, it must be true, even when there’s no factual basis.
Trap: "I feel anxious, so I must be doing something wrong."
Clarity: "Feeling anxious is normal, but it doesn’t mean I’m incapable."
How early beliefs shape your mindset and how to change them
Many of these thinking traps come from core beliefs formed early in life. If you grew up thinking you had to be perfect to succeed, you might still carry that into adulthood. Recognizing these traps is the first step, then comes becoming aware of them when they happen, and finally, questioning and rewriting them.
Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Absolutely. It almost feels like hacking your own brain.
Mindfulness practices, self-reflection, journaling or counseling can help you dig into these beliefs and see how they’re affecting your thoughts and actions today. By challenging them, you can reshape your mindset and how you respond to challenges. This isn’t about forced positivity, it’s about seeing things clearly and reducing the mental load these distorted thoughts create.
My favorite traps
I’ll admit, mind reading is one of my biggest traps - pun intended. Even now, I sometimes have to stop myself and call on my inner devil’s advocate before jumping to conclusions. Then there’s all-or-nothing thinking: just the other day, I caught myself saying, “...and I know it’s not as black and white as it seems right now. I just need some time to see the shades.” The important thing noticing the thinking trap, even though it still feels very real in the moment. I reminded myself that with time, I’d probably get there emotionally too.
CBT teaches us that our perceptions shape our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, so changing just one can have a ripple effect on the rest. Knowing this can really be a game-changer.
And yours?
Does this sound familiar? Which thinking trap do you tend to fall into? How do you usually remind yourself to pause and activate more helpful thoughts? Take a moment to reflect and come up with a helpful thought for next time. The more you practice, the easier it gets - maybe not in the heat of the moment, but afterward. And maybe not every time, but more often than not.
I guarantee, this will set you free. You’ll gain control over your thoughts, rather than being controlled by them - and that shift can change everything.
About me
I'm Nelli, a certified counseling psychologist and coach, blending the power of CBT, mindfulness, and strength-based counseling to guide my clients toward lasting change. You can talk to me, whether you’re navigating a life transition or seeking personal growth, I provide tailored, compassionate support. Based in Abu Dhabi, I work with clients from all around the world, both online and in-person, helping them gain clarity, reframe unhelpful thoughts, and develop the tools needed to thrive. Reach out for a free intro call!
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